Welcome to Simms Counselling & Training

9 Eugenia Road, London, SE16

020 8469 2138

Many confuse love with possession or attachment. When we feel what we perceive to be love, we attempt to possess the other, whether it be our partner, our child, our parent or our friend and feel justified in doing so. Is it that we all seek security? Is it because all of our concepts of love derive from romantic love? Yet is romantic love real love at all? The desire to possess is fostered from ones own need, the need for approval, the need for security, basically, the need for something. The focus therefore being on the receiving rather than the giving. Of course there are people in relationships who freely give to each other, the mistake being, that often, it changes into fear of the possibility of not getting and the worry of what might or might not happen. They are feeling the depth of their need, not the height of love – the love turns into possession. Real love is not possessive. A need to feel that somebody cares, someone to help you, someone to hold on to – or is this attachment to fill the void in you?
How do you know if you are experiencing real love? Surely you do not ask yourself if you are sexually excited – you just know, or if you are feeling happy – you just know.
Real love feels peaceful, allows you to grow, to develop and reach your true potential, rather than what someone else wants you to be. Real love is accepting, understanding and joyful. Real love is selfless and asks for nothing in return. Real love is whole and starts from within.